Planks and Splinters

I’ve had a lot of years, even decades, filled with joy and life.

The past twelve months have been more about difficulties and death, such as finally losing my dad in February after a long battle with Alzheimer’s, almost losing Mike’s mom in the spring of ‘21, having her move in with us and now her passing on June 24, 2022, just a couple of weeks after taking her on her dream cruise to Alaska.

It’s been quite a year.

As I’ve been reflecting on death, I’ve been examining my own heart. I have heard a lot of Christians through the years talk about how fearful they are of their loved ones not going to heaven because they haven’t gone to church or prayed the sinner’s prayer.

I used to have that same fear, until I started scratching the surface of learning just how big God’s love is.

Knowing how much I love my own kids and grandkids, and that I would do anything, absolutely anything to ensure their safety and salvation, and then coming to the understanding that my love is a drop in a bucket compared to God’s ocean of love.

This week I’ve been asking myself, “Who do I really want in heaven?” And the answer made me realize I have a long way to go before I love like God loves.

How much time do we spend deciding who is worthy of salvation? Hitler is usually where most of us draw the line…surely you can’t torture and kill millions and still be forgiven! Yet as I get older and think more about my own expiration date, I remember Jesus’s words more often.

““Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

Matthew 7:1-2

Do I want to be judged according to how I judge? I better quit judging then! In fact, if I am to be more like Jesus, shouldn’t I want everyone, every one, to experience salvation? If I am holding even an ounce of hate in my heart for another, I am not loving like Jesus does. He who hung on a cross and begged, “Father forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”

Do I always know what I’m doing and why? Will I want to try to justify my actions when I stand before God or will I fall to my knees weeping, or just simply run into his arms?

Back to the previous question, who do I really WANT in heaven? If the answer is anything but “everything and everyone,” I am not loving enough.

I am not loving like God loves.

So maybe I need to read the next few verses of Matthew 7 and make them my focus instead of worrying about anyone else’s salvation.

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”

Matthew 7:3-5

Remember, if we feel afraid for our loved ones, fear is never of God. We must pray, for them and for ourselves. We must focus on loving ourselves and others better each day.

There will never come a day in this lifetime when I love as perfectly as God does…so that means the plank in my eye will always be there as I live and breathe, which means I will never have time to worry about someone else’s splinter!

Transformation over Transaction

I just attended the funeral of a friend gone much too soon. One of the scripture passages read really got me thinking. In Matthew 20:1-16 Jesus tells the parable of the landowner who hires workers for the vineyard at different times of the day yet pays them all the same amount. The workers who were hired first are upset they weren’t paid more than the others and the landowner answers “are you envious because I’m generous?”

This got me thinking about us Christians who have spent a lot of time trying to do what’s right, going often to church, giving our energy to others, and making choices we think God would be proud of. We then sometimes focus our attention on others who may or may not be “living in the light” and we worry about their standing with God.

Is that really our job? When we look at someone else’s life and assess it, doesn’t that qualify as judging? We are so good at fooling ourselves that we believe our assessment of others is out of concern for them, but it often helps us feel better about our own position.

God loves the world and everyone and everything in it much more than we do, and God sees our righteousness as “filthy rags.” No one, not one of us is better than another in God’s eyes. Believer or not, God sees us and loves us equally. While we may feel secure in our acknowledgement of God’s sovereignty in our lives, we need to remember humility. Only God knows the heart of a person, and religion has nothing to do with it. He is capable of saving all without my help or even my opinion, so maybe I should concentrate more on loving the way God loves.

Do I even want everyone to be saved? It’s an honest question. Do I want people who have been horrible on earth to be equal with me in heaven? Shouldn’t they get punished? I’ve seen so many awful FB posts by proclaimed Christians clamoring for public executions of criminals. Does God rejoice in our hatred of others?

Truth is, I am much like the workers in Jesus’s parable who were hired early in the day, I’m upset others who might not be working as long or as hard as me will get the same reward. I’m also ready to cry “not fair!” when God forgives someone who I see as unforgivable.

That’s because our way of thinking is based on transaction, not transformation. We’re always calculating, measuring, and building hierarchical lists. God’s thinking is based on love. This is why we must be “transformed by the renewing of our minds,” instead of conforming to our old patterns of transactions and hierarchy. It’s a daily struggle, and can only happen when love rules our hearts and minds.

Love cancels judgement and desires redemption for all. There is no fear when we love like God loves, therefore I don’t need to worry about others’ salvation, I just need to love them the way that God loves us all.

Nothing but the Blood

The Holiness Movement began in the 19th century as an offshoot to John Wesley’s ideas. Many current denominations formed from its influence, including the one in which I was taught. It was a new exciting doctrine that was breathing life into the old way of things. One of its key beliefs was there are two blessings, the first is that Jesus died for us, the second comes with the anointing of the Holy Spirit. The Spirit actually completely purifies us and allows us to live perfect lives of holiness here on earth.

This kind of thinking is seemingly well-meaning and easy to accept because we have an innate desire to be in control, not to surrender. There’s this constant struggle in the Christian life to lay everything at Jesus’ feet for a momentary rest and then pick it all back up again. According to the Holiness Movement, we need Jesus for the first blessing but our perfection and cleansing into holiness comes from the Holy Spirit entering us thus enabling us to make perfect and righteous choices. This sounds like we’re relying on the Holy Spirit, but it too easily leads to our own efforts. American Christians are especially prone to this since the American way is to “pick yourself up by your bootstraps” and “forge your own path in the wilderness.”

I was reading through my Grandmama’s journal and came across this entry that she wrote at Christmastime in 1983, right after all of our families had left her house to go back to our own homes, “Sorry I had to cry. Was that too bad Lord? You know I used to be brave and not cry when the kids left. Guess I’m getting weaker in my older years.” It broke my heart to realize she tried for 89 years to completely deny her humanity and saw tears as weakness. I know this was a common belief in her time and it saddens me that so many still see tears and vulnerability as weakness instead of strength.

This simply is not from Christ’s teachings. The shortest verse in the Bible is John 11:35, “Jesus wept.” He cared for his friends that were in despair over Lazarus’ death. His compassion saved us all by dying a thief’s death on the cross which the world saw as weakness, yet we believers see as the epitome of strength. Truth is found in paradox, time and again.

When we focus on our works, our strengths, they often actually separate us from Him, because we begin to believe in our own righteousness instead of basking in His. We are called to accept His sacrifice which covers us in grace, cancelling our sin. We still sin, daily…yet His blood covers us, blinding Him to our sin. That’s why I rejoice and rest in His grace. God wants us to call him Abba…Daddy, running to Him to be scooped up in His arms and loved. Yes I strive to do what’s right and be a blessing to others, but I no longer attempt perfection. I’m tired of feeling like I’ll never measure up. God is not keeping a score of what we are doing right vs. our sins, and neither should we. As Paul said, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans‬ ‭5:8‬ ‭

God loves us as we are, period. This idea that we can obtain holiness on earth either deludes us into feeling better than others or encourages us to live a double life, looking perfect on the outside but being far from God in our hearts. It also separates us from the world that we are supposed to be impacting and seasoning like salt which is shaken so that each grain spreads through the food giving it zestful flavor.

This is a fundamental mistake in modern Christianity, based on the Holiness Movement interpretation rather than the early church and Christ’s teachings. What I find intriguing is when Brennan Manning and many other modern Christian reformers have challenged these beliefs, they have been labeled “New Age” and “dangerous.” Sounds familiar…the established church fearfully clinging to what they know and rejecting reformation. Jesus was accused and crucified by that same fear. The fear of not knowing, of being out of control, of mystery. The very compulsion that separated us from God in the first place. Yet over and over again throughout history we keep reinventing it, disguising it with our new interpretations and spirituality, fooling ourselves that we have the answers, we know the mind of God.

We don’t. We only know how great His love is for us. John 3:16 “For God so loved the world He gave His only son that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish.” Beyond that all should be dealt with in humility and prayer, with forgiveness in our hearts for ourselves as well as others, and remembering His words “If you’ve done these things to the very least of my brethren you’ve done it unto me.”