Everything

I recently told my spiritual director I wanted to be more aware of my ego, which in terms of the enneagram 4 is best expressed by my consistent mixed internal message of “you are not enough” AND “you are too much!”

I told her I wanted to recognize my ego reaction to feeling this inadequacy and stop it in its tracks. I wanted to reject the negative insecurities and stand in confidence.

She said “any rejection of self is the wrong path.”

Any rejection of self is the wrong path.

Sigh.

This statement is completely opposite of what I was taught in church. “Self is sinful, self is carnal and wrong.” I tried for years to deny myself and shove her in a box without air-holes but she refused to be suffocated. I have rejected her, shown her repulsion and disgust, yet she still remains cowering in the shadows.

My spiritual director asked me what would be best to say to my fragile ego, my shadow self?

I couldn’t say.

She said, how about speaking to her they way you would to a frightened child?

“I see you, I love you, and you are worthy.”

I see you.

I love you.

You are worthy.

God sees you and loves you and says you are worthy.

Christ sees you and loves you and shows you that you are priceless, worthy of the ultimate sacrifice.

Spirit says I see you, I love you, you are mine.

Sigh.

Hey, you! Sweet little girl in the shadows. I see you.

Come out in the light.

Bless you my sweet little frightened child.

I love you. You are beautiful just the way you are.

You are worthy.

You are enough.

In fact, you are everything.

In fact, if you were the only one lost, I would come looking for you, I would leave everything and everyone else and risk my life to find you.

I see you. I love you. You are worthy.

Enough

Life is weird. If I waited to write something brilliant and unique I would never write anything at all. Still, life is weird, as dumb and infantile as that sounds.

Just to be clear, I love God. I believe Jesus is the Son of God and is God in flesh. I believe in the Spirit who is like the wind and blows wherever it pleases. I also know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I don’t know much of anything. God is love and I’ve been learning to love my whole life. I’m getting better at it and I’m still learning.

I love my mom. My first memories of being cherished and loved are from being her daughter. How lucky am I?

I love Mike. He is the first person that showed me love beyond my understanding. For some reason he loved me no matter what. Ten years in we got to that dark place of no return. We got gut level honest and said no more pretending, no more lies. We somehow walked barefoot over the flaming hot coals and made it through. I wouldn’t have ever understood that kind of love without him. He started it. I followed.

I love my kids. Ever since I was a kid myself I dreamed of having children. I wanted boys. I am so eternally thankful I got to be mom to my three boys.

Dillon made me a mom. He was difficult. He made me face the truth of what I wanted in life. He is my first and made the dreams fade to reality. No sleep, frustration, irritation, annoyance, exhaustion, sheer joy, raw love, total vulnerability. Now I rely on him for so much more than he ever relied on me.

Keenan reminded me I was right. Kids are worth it. Joy is in watching an infant learn to focus on their hand for even one second. Love is messy and imperfect and amazing and bigger than anything else. Now I continue to learn from his wisdom and caring heart.

Tristan was the confirmation. Mike and I had been through the fire and chose each other. Tristan was our gift for becoming vulnerable and choosing to love each other no matter what. I finally cared more about enjoying each moment instead of making sure every speck was cleaned. I continue to learn from his creativity and open spirit.

I love my grandchildren. They are the fulfillment of a lifetime of love I have witnessed with my grandparents, parents and am still experiencing with Mike. And it’s true, being a grandparent is freaking amazing!

I love children. I love my students. Each is unique and special. I see the touch of God on each one of them. I just hope they see it someday too.

Life is weird. Love is weirder. I don’t know much, but I know love really does cover everything. It covers failure. It covers fear. It covers judgment. It covers hate. It covers sin and regret and guilt.

God is love and Love is enough.

Of Books, Bishops and Beatitudes

Thanks to a dear friend, I’m currently reading Rachel Held Evans’ 2010 book, Faith Unraveled and I feel such a kinship! I too grew up in a loving Christian home with intelligent people striving to prove our faith to a lost world. We devoured Lee Strobel, Ravi Zacharias, Josh McDowell, and the likes. Our second bible was CS Lewis’s Mere Christianity.

I was fortunate that my dad was a seeker and not afraid of my doubts and questions. We had many conversations about other faiths and both of us rested in the belief that God is Love, therefore wherever and in whomever genuine love resides regardless of status, religion, gender, culture, or race, God dwells. This belief is my foundation, the very reason I didn’t reject Christianity entirely, and, as I read it, the New Testament upholds this with Jesus’s own teachings.

Jesus turns conservative, capitalistic fundamentalism on its head. There simply is no way to make the beatitudes a defense for the blessedness of nationalism, capitalism and the health wealth gospel. The poor, meek, broken-hearted, the merciful, the pure in heart and the peacemakers…these shall inherit the earth. We are to love our enemies and turn the other cheek, pray behind closed doors in secret, and give away our possessions. We are to be Jesus’s hands and feet, to be the salt of the earth, to share the good news that God loves the world! The message is clear…love love love! Let us weigh every action against love to see if it is of God. Too many times I have listened to my own or others’ fears and called them God’s will.

My friend Michelle is experiencing Les Miserables Live on stage in Nashville this evening. Earlier today she and I were discussing Inspector Javert and how he could not conceive of the concept of grace. He put the law above all else and could not accept anything but dualism….”this is good and that is bad”, “I am right therefore you are wrong,”etc. Javert is a perfect example of what most humans think righteousness looks like, yet Jean Valjean is the one who radiates compassion and love (God’s heart) after he accepted the grace he was shown by Bishop Myriel.

As I was reading Evan’s account of her disillusionment with the church a steady stream of tears began to roll down my cheeks. I love my heritage, I love the people I grew up with, I love singing praise and worship music, and I love our world, I believe in civil rights and equality, and that God is bigger than my comprehension. God is bigger than my understanding, bigger than the Bible, than the church and its many leaders and congregations, God is greater than all of these. God is not limited to our religious boundaries and rules, and any time I find myself getting confused by the different voices here claiming to be the only truth, I ask myself…Is this voice one of Love, Compassion, and Grace? If not then it is not of God no matter how holy it seems.

Everything and everyone from books to bishops must be examined and weighed against Love.

The Beatitudes

He said: “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you. “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot. “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”

Matthew 5:2-16 NIV

Planks and Splinters

I’ve had a lot of years, even decades, filled with joy and life.

The past twelve months have been more about difficulties and death, such as finally losing my dad in February after a long battle with Alzheimer’s, almost losing Mike’s mom in the spring of ‘21, having her move in with us and now her passing on June 24, 2022, just a couple of weeks after taking her on her dream cruise to Alaska.

It’s been quite a year.

As I’ve been reflecting on death, I’ve been examining my own heart. I have heard a lot of Christians through the years talk about how fearful they are of their loved ones not going to heaven because they haven’t gone to church or prayed the sinner’s prayer.

I used to have that same fear, until I started scratching the surface of learning just how big God’s love is.

Knowing how much I love my own kids and grandkids, and that I would do anything, absolutely anything to ensure their safety and salvation, and then coming to the understanding that my love is a drop in a bucket compared to God’s ocean of love.

This week I’ve been asking myself, “Who do I really want in heaven?” And the answer made me realize I have a long way to go before I love like God loves.

How much time do we spend deciding who is worthy of salvation? Hitler is usually where most of us draw the line…surely you can’t torture and kill millions and still be forgiven! Yet as I get older and think more about my own expiration date, I remember Jesus’s words more often.

““Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

Matthew 7:1-2

Do I want to be judged according to how I judge? I better quit judging then! In fact, if I am to be more like Jesus, shouldn’t I want everyone, every one, to experience salvation? If I am holding even an ounce of hate in my heart for another, I am not loving like Jesus does. He who hung on a cross and begged, “Father forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”

Do I always know what I’m doing and why? Will I want to try to justify my actions when I stand before God or will I fall to my knees weeping, or just simply run into his arms?

Back to the previous question, who do I really WANT in heaven? If the answer is anything but “everything and everyone,” I am not loving enough.

I am not loving like God loves.

So maybe I need to read the next few verses of Matthew 7 and make them my focus instead of worrying about anyone else’s salvation.

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”

Matthew 7:3-5

Remember, if we feel afraid for our loved ones, fear is never of God. We must pray, for them and for ourselves. We must focus on loving ourselves and others better each day.

There will never come a day in this lifetime when I love as perfectly as God does…so that means the plank in my eye will always be there as I live and breathe, which means I will never have time to worry about someone else’s splinter!

Good Intentions

I want to say something about the controversy happening all around us. The fight against abortion has become so passionate, understandably so.

Babies are precious and sacred.

Children are God’s people.

We are God’s children, therefore we are precious and sacred.

I do not believe there is even one person on either side of the debate who delights in killing babies. I do not believe there is even one person on either side who sees abortion as an easy way out. I believe good intentions are the basis of both parties. And as the well known proverb says “the road to hell is paved with good intentions.”

Life is so difficult. Bad things happen all of the time to good people. We all are forced to make difficult decisions at one time or another and struggle with what is right. Yes, life is sacred. All lives are sacred.

To make abortion illegal will not eradicate abortion. Good health care, education, access to contraceptives and free vasectomies, condemnation and active prosecution of sexual predators and sex traffickers, and actively showing love to all we meet, these things will decrease abortions.

It’s important to remember that as Christians we believe every aborted baby is instantly in the arms of Jesus Christ, instead of in a crack house, or poverty stricken and abused and neglected.

Abortion is sad and devastating even to those who choose it as their best option. The key word is choice.

As a Christ follower, I don’t see abortion as any more heinous than having children grow up neglected, abused, and forgotten. I don’t see it as any more horrific than the daily mass shootings happening because the right to bear arms is more important to many than mental health screenings and safe schools.

I don’t see abortion as any more horrible than the hate I’ve seen spewed out by many supposedly in the name of Christ. To treat another human being with contempt, judgement and hatred is completely against Jesus’s teachings.

I believe we are focusing on the wrong things to change.

Let’s eradicate poverty, let’s pursue universal health care, let’s provide free child care and counseling, let’s help those in desperation and need. And above all else, let us love one another.

““You’re familiar with the old written law, ‘Love your friend,’ and its unwritten companion, ‘Hate your enemy.’ I’m challenging that. I’m telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the supple moves of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that. “In a word, what I’m saying is, Grow up. You’re kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.””

Matthew 5:43-48 MSG

Remember Me

I wrote a song about my dad in 1998.

I was mad at him.

He was an eccentric genius who grew up as a PK in the 1940’s and 50’s. He loved Jesus. He was taught men rule the world and women should wear high heels, cook good food, and bear children. When I was 18 I was intelligent, talented, and beautiful, but I weighed 135 pounds and was 5 ft 7 inches. He said I needed to lose 5. He also said I needed to go to college and get a degree in anything, It didn’t matter what I studied because I would marry and both he and my husband would take care of me.

I never felt good enough.

My older sister was Miss Indiana 1980….gorgeous, talented, skinny, beautiful.

She never felt good enough.

Can you imagine being a 12 year old girl at the Miss America pageant, knowing your beautiful older sister who wore a crown felt ugly? What did that make me?

I was the funny one. I tried so hard to lighten everyone up and make the room brighter. I made my room the color of sunshine and I emotionally tap danced my way through life until I hit 30 and decided I deserved a rest. I started therapy and had several heart to hearts over the phone with my dad. I yelled at him. I cried. I told him exactly how I felt about his attitude towards women.

He apologized. He said he was brought up that way and now he realized it was wrong. He was wrong.

You need to understand how monumental this was for my dad to admit he was wrong. He used to quote the Fonzie line from Happy Days, “I was wa wa wa” instead of saying “I was wrong”. But my dad said “I’m sorry, I was wrong. You’re right. Women are just as smart as men and can do anything they want if they work hard. I’m sorry. You are talented and intelligent and can do anything you set your mind to.”

That’s the day I truly loved my dad because I experienced his love for me. He renounced his upbringing, his religion, (not his God as they are different entities) and I loved him so much for meeting me in my pain.

I wrote this song in 1998 when I was angry with him. It’s incredibly ironic that it’s titled Remember Me when he is now dying of Alzheimer’s.

Back in the 90’s he had invested himself in ancient coins, famous signatures, and old fossils and artifacts of ancient civilizations while he had told me I needed a husband to take care of me and I always needed to lose five more pounds. But while he did those things, he also bought my cousins their first cars, he helped my visionary philanthropist Uncle Charlie with his start up not for profit Heart to Honduras that built houses and churches in remote Honduran villages, he taught literally thousands of people how Marriage Can Be Fun and gave people hope. He made kids laugh as they learned about Julius Caesar and Cleopatra, Alexander Hamilton and the duel, and the process of mummification. He was faithful to the love of his life, Lorna June Smith and took our family on amazing adventures around the world. He had a magic zest for life and I’m thankful I got to be in his circle of trust.

This song is a tribute to my Daddy, King Jon, Dr Kardatzke. Eccentric, maddening, manic, hilarious, loving, GENEROUS and CREATIVE spirit who wasn’t afraid to say “I’m sorry I was wrong.” I love you Daddy…and you have left your touch, your imprint on my heart and on my children’s hearts.

Remember Me

The silver coin that bears the face of Ancient Greece

Once used to buy necessities now valued way beyond our needs

We cry Remember Me

An earthen vase crafted by worn and calloused hands

Now brings a price unheard of

for molded clay and sand

We cry Remember Me

Oh please Remember Me

When the human soul is soft as clay

And even a gentle touch leaves an eternal mark

Upon the heart

We make our idols trying to preserve ourselves

Cold images crude replicas collecting dust upon the shelves

We cry Remember Me

Oh please Remember Me

When the human soul is soft as clay and even a gently touch

Leaves an eternal mark upon the heart

In our quest to be remembered

We’ve forgotten who we are

God’s greatest prized creation worth the scars

The scars on His heart

He cries Remember Me oh please Remember Me

Remember me Will you Remember Me

Remember

The Dance

I remember seeing things so clearly as a child. People were either good or evil, healthy or unhealthy, republican or democrat, Christian or heathen, and I was always categorizing them whether I was conscious of it or not.

Unfortunately in my naïveté my criteria for judging others wasn’t always correct. I thought a good person dressed well, smiled a lot, smelled good, and spoke kindly. If a person didn’t fit those categories, they must be bad.

Children think in these “either or” terms because their brains have not yet developed enough to discern and differentiate. Children trust their senses, what they see, hear, smell, and feel. Many philosophers believe the story of Adam and Eve and the forbidden fruit is an analogy of the human condition. We are born innocent until we reach the age of discernment, the knowledge of good and evil. Once this understanding takes place we begin making choices that can be held accountable.

When this transition occurs, we often use dualistic thinking to make ourselves feel better…”you’re bad and I’m good” etc. This gives us a way of evaluating ourselves at a higher level. We can always find someone to rank lower than ourselves, and then we get the rush of relief that we are ok…”I may be this but at least I’m not as bad as that!”

When we begin to come to the understanding that our consciousness, our morality, our very souls are circular and not linear or hierarchical….ever connected and moving in a dance of dark and light, we can finally accept the truth of who we are and rest in that knowledge. We are at one time both good and evil, unselfish and selfish, loving and hateful and everything in between….we can finally relax in ourselves. The hierarchical/linear approach makes us liars to ourselves and others. If we deny the darkness it eventually rots within and rats us out…even Jesus said, “Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone.” (Luke 18:19)

As I continue to accept myself as I am, the good the bad and the ugly, the saint and the sinner intertwined, I actually feel better about myself now that I am not trying to paint others as evil or wrong. We are all made in God’s image. We are all made of dust and will return to it. We are all people who have opinions, passions, hurts, and we make choices some good some not, we love, we rage, we live we die. The sooner we accept this the better listeners we will become, and if we truly begin to listen to each other we might realize our commonalities and find resolutions instead of continuing this damaging polarization of our “either/or” mentality.

Joy to the World

As I grow older, my comprehension of God grows bigger. As a child I thought God was very human like…easy to anger, someone I needed to please by treading lightly and carefully following instructions.

It saddens me how many denominations and religions hold by this teaching. I have a 2nd grade student who isn’t allowed to sing Happy Birthday to any of our students because it’s a sin to celebrate people. How sad to be taught that God doesn’t celebrate children! God loves us and celebrates over us! The Great I Am delights in us and wants us to have joy! “The Lord your God is with you; the mighty One will save you. He will rejoice over you. You will rest in his love; he will sing and be joyful about you.””
‭‭Zephaniah‬ ‭3:17‬ ‭NCV‬‬

To live with such legalism feels like the chains that were wrapped around Jacob Marley’s ghost in Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. We forge our own chains…God doesn’t. In fact, God breaks us free of such bondage when we accept the grace freely given. The key is acceptance. We have a choice to continue to follow a God in our image, one of judgment, rage, condemnation, legalism, and joylessness, or accept the love, grace, freedom, and joy the Great I Am offers us. A God so great my finite mind cannot comprehend, a Love so all encompassing I cannot fathom, a Grace so real it hurts…piercing my very heart and soul and flooding my eyes with tears.

Yes the older I get, the bigger God’s love, the greater God’s mercy, this is the Universal Christ, who was for a moment contained in the form of a vulnerable newborn baby, born to declare God’s great love for all the world.

“Joy to the world, the Lord is come, let earth receive Her king! Let every heart prepare Him room! And heaven and nature sing!”

Preaching the Gospel

A friend recently asked me what I thought about the call to evangelize…that is…”go unto all the world and preach the gospel to all the nations.”(Mark 16:15)

When I was younger I was terrified God was going to call me to ministry in Africa. I had no desire to live in another country and I have always felt uncomfortable telling people how they should live. I didn’t understand why I felt uncomfortable until I grew older and I began to have my own questions and wrestle with doubt. I have never felt good about judging others’ beliefs and trying to coerce them to believe as I believe. It seems disrespectful, even arrogant. I actually ended up going to Africa when I was 15 and witnessed my grandparents’ evangelist friends treat native Kenyans like servants instead of equals. Even at 15, I knew this behavior was not Christ-like, no matter what scriptures they spoke with their mouths.

If we take “preaching the gospel” literally, it means telling everyone the good news that God loves us so much that God sent Jesus Christ to take all of the sins of the world on his shoulders so that we may live forgiven and free.

That’s a great message. Yet somehow through dogma and religious ritual the message has become “you must believe exactly how I believe and do everything I do and God will save you.” That’s not the same message.

Towards the end of his life, Jesus told the parable of the two sons(Matthew 21:28-31). This story clearly shows our actions are worth more than our words. Applying this to preaching the gospel, we must preach the gospel with our behaviors more than with our mouths. This truth is written over and over again in the Bible in different ways. Jesus speaks many times of those who profess to love God, yet their hearts are far from God. Paul says, “If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.”(1 Corinthians 13:1)

Yet here we are in 2021 with “Christians” saying they follow Christ and posting hateful messages on social media, professing allegiance to Christ while blindly following immoral and manipulative politicians because they speak “the Christian language.”

Evangelizing is clearly more about our actions, how we treat others, than our words. Whether we go or stay to “preach the gospel” wherever we may be, we must preach it by giving food to the hungry, clothing to the naked, water to the thirsty, respect to the least of these, love to all we encounter. “They will know us by our love.” Not our words.

The gospel is good news. God loves us, all of us, the whole world, and sent Jesus to show us how to love and live and die, so that we may live abundantly in Christ. The fruits of the Spirit can only be found in the Spirit-filled, regardless of their title, profession, status, religion, culture, denomination, race, or political affiliation. “But the Spirit produces the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. There is no law that says these things are wrong.”(Galatians 5:22-23)

We are also called to be discerning (wise as a serpent), to test the spirits, to question our religious leaders, and to follow no one but Christ. Christ did not lead an insurrection, take over the government, and condemn his enemies. He did the exact opposite. He was captured without resistance as a political and religious prisoner, was beaten, ridiculed, and ultimately executed, and still asked God to forgive all of those who hated him because he understood they didn’t know what they were doing. He loved always.

He loves always, no matter who or where, the what and why are always the same. What? Love others. Why? Because Christ loves you. How? ““Then the King will say to the people on his right, ‘Come, my Father has given you his blessing. Receive the kingdom God has prepared for you since the world was made. I was hungry, and you gave me food. I was thirsty, and you gave me something to drink. I was alone and away from home, and you invited me into your house. I was without clothes, and you gave me something to wear. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’ (Matthew 25:34-36)

Robust Fragility

It’s been a difficult couple of weeks for reasons I don’t want to go into, but I’ll just say I was feeling physically great until I suddenly wasn’t and it didn’t have anything to do with Covid.

I know this happens to us all, we may be going along merrily with our lives, feeling content and almost invincible when something happens to bring us back to reality.

I am mortal, and so are you. Life is fragile and so are our bodies. Yet we are also immortal and life can be incredibly resilient! It’s strange how we can hold seemingly opposing truths within our own being. For example, I’m sitting here beside my dad’s bed and he is such a dichotomy. His mind is feeble and he looks so frail yet he still has such a healthy heart. It’s strange how our physical bodies are like war machines, continuously fighting off germs and healing and regenerating, until eventually being overwhelmed with something. Dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s almost ten years ago, lost his ability to walk six years ago, and has forgotten almost everything and everyone, yet his heart is strong and he has literally outlived friends and family members that were decades younger than him. I was feeling fantastic three weeks ago, healthier and thinner than I’ve been in 15 years with boundless energy, and then my body succumbed to a bacterial infection and I was flat on my back in bed. I’m so incredibly thankful for modern medicine! Without strong antibiotics I’m afraid this bug would’ve ended me.

We are at once robust and fragile, immortal and mortal, and in my mind I liken this contradiction to the description of joy. Several philosophers have proposed that true joy is only experienced with the deep understanding, acceptance, and internal coexistence of sorrow and happiness. Tears and even heavy sobbing come with joy, because the truly joyful one has known loss and great sorrow. Joy cannot be without sadness, for it is formed from it. They are intertwined and to deny the pain will be to dilute and even numb the joy.

Truth is almost always found in paradox, yet our minds still crave dualism. If I can say you’re wrong than I can feel right. If I deem myself healthy, I can point to you as unhealthy. Yet this either/or mentality drives us to hate and fear rather than to love and peace. Now more than ever we must discern between what is born of love and grace which is of the Spirit and what is born of hate and fear. Dualism is not the mind of Christ. This is why He spoke in parables, not meant to frustrate those of us who want an easy road map with instructions, but to encourage us to work out our faith, wrestle with it, question ourselves and our religions and our politics that are built on dualistic principles. The narrow path is a humble and often lonely one. It winds back and forth and in between the other wider paths with louder and more vocal travelers. It demands discernment and intuition, and above all else, humility. If we have to yell how right we are, who are we trying to convince, others or ourselves?

I don’t really know much of anything, and the older I grow the less I am sure of, but I can say I’m certain of the paradox of truth. There are nuances and different shades of color and they help us see definition in our world. I’m thankful we don’t live in only black and white, and I embrace my robust fragility, as it continues to teach me of balance and mindfulness.