A compass is important if you have a destination in mind. I remember my brother having one and him showing me how to use it in our backyard. Nowadays we have our phones that have maps that tell us exactly how to get wherever we’re going. We wouldn’t even think of trying to find a place we’ve never been without clear directions, yet so many of us claim we want to find real, lifelong love with another and don’t start out with any instructions or clarity on how to reach that goal.
Many say they want an eternal love with someone, but once boredom, difficulties, and everyday life sets in, they’re either out the door or at least thinking of turning the knob. Love doesn’t just happen, it is chosen. Feelings of “love” can hit you quickly, but deep, trustworthy, I’ll-go-through-the-fire-with-you kind of love only comes from two people making daily conscious choices to stay. I’m always reminded of that beautiful Steven Curtis Chapman song, I Will Be Here.
“Tomorrow morning if you wake up,
And the sun does not appear
I, I will be here
If in the dark we lose sight of love,
Hold my hand, and have no fear
Cause I, I will be here
I will be here when you feel like being quiet
When you need to speak your mind,
I will listen and
I will be here when the laughter turns to cryin’
Through the winning, losing and tryin’
We’ll be together ’cause I will be here
Tomorrow morning if you wake up,
And the future is unclear
I I will be here
As sure as seasons are made for change,
Our lifetime’s are made for years
So, I I will be here
I will be here and you can cry on my shoulder,
When the mirror tells us we’re older,
I will hold you and
I will be here to watch you grow in beauty
And tell you all the things you are to me
I will be here.”
Both people have to be “in it to win it.” And both need to have an example of what kind of relationship they’re trying to achieve. God’s Love is given to us as our compass.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”
1 Corinthians 13:4-13
One can’t create eternal love alone. It takes two people with the same compass or map, always hoping, always striving, always believing, always trying their hardest. Healthy, long term relationships take a lot of hard work and determination. They never just happen.
If you’re searching for eternal love, you’ll never find it. You must become it. It starts with the love God has placed in your heart and He is your compass, your map, your example. You must also be discerning in choosing a person with whom to invest your time and love. Do they have your same goals, the same compass and map, the same values? These are important questions that need to be pondered and wrestled with before commitments are made, and of course, make sure you have a trustworthy compass in hand, as well as a light to see the way.
“Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.”