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To my husband of 34 years, Mike Noller, I can’t imagine living life without you by my side as my partner through everything, every obstacle and opportunity that comes our way.

Thank you for always insisting on our time.

Even when my heart was consumed with our babies and I ached leaving them, you reminded me we love them best by loving each other better.

Thank you for encouraging me to take a honeymoon at least once a year, so we could remember who we are together even after we became many and life became more harried.

Thank you for telling me that we were raising adults not children, because as much as my mother’s heart wanted them to stay little forever, that wasn’t possible, and I needed to prepare myself for letting go. It’s painful, this letting go of control, real or imaginary, but I’m so thankful we never let go of each other.

You are the best man I know.

That’s saying a lot because as you know my dad was pretty amazing.

You are my favorite person and I’m glad we’re still holding hands across the table at our favorite restaurants and as we walk along beaches.

Thank you for not only saying that you’ll love me till the day you die, but living it as we go through death and rebirth in our lives over and over again in so many ways.

Thank you for learning how to love with me. Sometimes we fall short, but we keep striving, we keep working on ourselves individually, so our relationship continues to grow.

Thank you for loving your mom so beautifully. There’s an old saying that you can tell how a man is going to treat his wife by how he treats his mom. I am in good hands.

I love you, I love being with you, I love living with you. Thank you for growing with me through our lifetime together, always committed to learning and striving to do what’s right and good. We don’t always get it right but we forgive ourselves and each other, and I celebrate us. Happy belated anniversary! Cheers my love!

Reverend KK

My Gramps was a reverend. Rev. EE Kardatzke…Reverend K.

Today I got to be Reverend KK for a day.

I was the blessed officiant of my niece’s wedding and it was one of the most humbling and honoring moments of my life to date.

First of all, I would never have agreed to the task if I didn’t believe in the two individuals and their relationship.

Secondly I had to believe in myself.

When the idea was first mentioned, there were many who thought I couldn’t put my emotions away and keep the focus on the couple and their love…I did.

I talked about how difficult life is, and how hard relationships are. I included the audience as witnesses in the service, telling all that they have a responsibility to the couple to remind them of their vows and stand by them in times of need. I read 1 Corinthians 13 and made sure I got out of the picture as I pronounced the couple man and wife. The whole wedding took about 18 minutes and I felt great about it until it was over and a family member said, “Why didn’t you tell us to sit down? My back was killing me!”

😣I forgot to tell the congregation to sit. They stood through the entire 18 minute wedding and I was mortified.

Oh well.

Perfection is never an option. Especially with me. I can try so hard to cross my t’s and dot my i’s but invariably I forget something and perfection is lost.

I guess that’s the point of it all. Marriage is far from perfect. It’s two imperfect people dedicating their hearts to each other’s flawed selves, saying, “I see you as you are, and I say YES….I will love you and stand with you till the day I die.”

Marriage is a declaration of commitment to vulnerability and yes, imperfection. It is a messy, hands on work of art. Those who try to go about it in a sterile, cleansing way will completely miss the heart of it all.

Life. Is. Difficult.

Marriage. Is. Difficult.

Because it is made of two individuals who are broken in many ways they haven’t even recognized yet and won’t know until the person they love the most forgets their birthday, says they wrong thing, or disappoints them.

Brokenness hides until it can’t. Wounds become scars and don’t hurt until they are poked and shoved, and living life day to day with another means lots of bumping into the dark places of each other’s souls.

Perfection isn’t an option.

Maybe it’s a good idea to stand through a wedding with the bride and groom. After all, if you’re there as a witness, you are standing with them in spirit, saying you will uphold their relationship and remind them of their commitment to each other. If your legs and back get tired, so be it.

Life is tiring. Anything worth doing is difficult. Alexa and Jacob, I stand with you now and forever, and will strive to be a voice of love and reason as you navigate your new life together. Thanks for the privilege of today. ❤️