I physically lost my dad February 25,2022, but had watched Alzheimer’s take him from us little by little for over a decade.
His last week of life was one of the longest I’ve ever experienced. Each morning felt like the Bill Murray movie Groundhog Day. We would get up and meet around his bedside singing, sitting, praying, laughing, crying while he lay unconscious. We would say goodnight around 11pm, and meet the next morning to do it all over again.
Six days in, on Friday, I woke at 3am and began praying again for him to pass. My brother Scott called me at 3:22 and said he had passed at 3:04am with no one at his side. I left my house at 3:30 to meet Scott and his wife to view dad’s body at the rest home.
My dearest friend had sent me her Apple Music praise and worship list earlier in the week but I had not listened. It automatically came on as the road curved toward southeast and the moon was huge and orange, hanging like an aging sun over the darkened city. it looked unreal, like a movie scene. I’ve never seen one like it. A song I’d never heard was playing, Love Has Won by Citizen Way.
As I’m trying to take all of this in, my phone rings and it’s my brother as he was just ahead of me on the road seeing the same surreal sky. He acted liked our dad always did when viewing an amazing waterfall or majestic mountain on family trips. “Did you see that moon? Did you see it? Look look don’t miss this moment!”
It was very profound. I was overwhelmed with laughter as tears streamed down my face.
Fast forward to May of the same year. Wichita’s Museum of World Treasures (my dad was the founder) had a “ghost hunter” overnight experience. The guide told me my dad was in the room and asked if I wanted to see his presence and hear his voice with her equipment. I skeptically said I would, and I saw some sort of light lines jumping around on the screen and heard a voice say “yes it’s me…sing!” (For a good six months before his death, I had sung at his bedside every day) I began singing his favorite song Edelweiss from The Sound of Music and the lights on the screen began jumping excitedly. Our guide began crying, she was so moved. Later she came up to me and said dad would contact me somehow in the next few weeks and he would make sure to show me it was not just a dream.
Three weeks later we took an incredible Alaskan cruise (May 28-June 4) and Covid delayed us in Seattle, Washington. The last night there, I had a dream about Daddy. My brother Scott and I were in a car, I was driving and Scott was in the front passenger seat. All of the sudden we heard Dad in the back seat, I think he was talking or singing, and I said to Scott, “Do you hear him?” He said that he did. I think we sang together and told him how much we love and miss him.
I woke up feeling sad the dream was over, and wanted to remember what was said. I laid on my back in bed and focused on Daddy in my thoughts. I think sleep paralysis (common for me)came on, and suddenly Dad was talking to me in my mind. I couldn’t see him, but I could hear him mentally. There was some sort of code given that told me it wasn’t a dream like the one I had before. He said to remember it but now I can’t recall it! He also told me he knew I had a dream about him earlier and wanted to make sure I knew this wasn’t a dream. There was a song I’d never heard but seemed familiar to me because it was about being happy together as a family. I babbled quickly about how much I love him and miss him and asked him if he’s happy and he said “Oh yes, very!” He assured me he’s fine and of his love. And suddenly I felt him leave as I returned to full consciousness and opened my eyes. The whole experience was like a static filled overseas phone call from the 1970’s. I wish I had immediately written everything down, but I mulled over it for awhile before drifting off to sleep again.
After waking in the morning and telling Mike what had happened, I realized it was June 7, 2023, his 86th birthday.
There are some who would say all of this was my own psyche trying to comfort myself during a difficult time. There are others who would say it’s wrong to consult a medium. My heart and soul know I was given reassurance from my dad. We had had many discussions through the years concerning the afterlife and our doubts and fears. He knew I shared his skepticism and I believe he gave me these special moments to let me know, all is well. Whenever I feel hopeless, I listen to Love Has Won. Find it here https://youtube.com/watch?v=l-tzgWrxM2Q&feature=shares
Love Has Won
“This is a song for the hurting
I hope that it helps you to heal
This is a song when the worst of the worst
Is all that you can feel
And this is a song for the lonely
If you’ve lost someone you can’t live without
A song for the souls that are searching
And hearts that are broken down
Sing with me now
Sing with me now
Hallelujah love has won
Hallelujah love has won
God is with us, thank You Jesus
Though the battle rages on
Hallelujah love has won
Yeah
Sometimes it feels like it’s hopeless
It’s a war just to hang by a thread
Sometimes on this side of heaven
Oh, it just doesn’t make sense
And that’s why He gave us this family
With a promise that nothing can break
That one day we’ll all be together
And the devil can’t take that away
Oh, so don’t be afraid
He’s already conquered the grave
So sing
Hallelujah love has won
Hallelujah love has won
God is with us, thank You Jesus
Though the battle rages on
Hallelujah love has won
Oh, can you hear the angels sing
Death is dead, we’re finally free
How sweet the sound
How sweet, how sweet
All creation will bow
And we’ll sing
Hallelujah love has won
Hallelujah love has won
God is with us, thank You Jesus
Though the battle rages on
Hallelujah love has won
This is a song for the hurting
I hope that it helps you to heal.”
Seasons of the Soul 