I grew up hearing the scripture, Revelation 3:15-16 , “I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.”
As a teenager it meant I could not allow complacency to enter into my heart and mind. I needed to be zealous in my defense of the gospel. God forbid I should be accused of being lukewarm! I began reading Christian apologetics so I could logically argue with atheists and people of other faiths, to prove the inerrancy of scripture and the truth of conservative evangelical Christendom.
Ironically my studies began to stir my heart and raise more questions about the truth of the universe and our Creator. As I grew in knowledge I began to understand how little I understood, how small my comprehension was, and is. I learned the great truth professed by the best minds throughout time, “The more I learn the less I know.” Paradox (seemingly incongruent thoughts or happenings that can both be accurate) became one of my most reliable tests of truth. It was in this confusion I began to trust in the Love who made me, instead of trying to capture that Love with scriptures and throw It in a box tied tightly with lovely ribbon.
I began to see the dangers of dualistic thinking, it’s me against you, us versus them, black or white, hot or cold, with no room for the in between. Doubt became a sobering friend who reminded me to question everything. As Jung said, “Fanaticism is repressed doubt.” I remembered scriptures such as 2 Corinthians 11:14 “Satan comes as an angel of light,” and ““Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves.” Matthew 7:15.
I found myself becoming paranoid and distrustful of all. A zealot on the other side, out of balance yet again.
That’s when I vowed to be a moderate in all things except one. Love. God is Love. Love is never wrong.
But I’m still not very good at it.
I still judge too harshly, I still run from those who are difficult to love. I still hide out in my safe haven of family, friends, home, the familiar. My wounds still throb with pain and beckon me to “fight or fly.”
But I’m trying, and I recognize my ugly tendency of dualism which really is just a humanistic primal instinct of survival. I long to become Divine. To love the world so much I would give up myself and everything I hold dear to save it…to save even one.
That’s not lukewarm. That’s not moderate. That’s radical life changing mind blowing Love. That’s God.
Seasons of the Soul 