Further Up and Further In

Sometimes we really are our own worst enemies. We lie to ourselves. We lower our expectations and tell ourselves it’s all we can hope for.

We fear discomfort and failure so we convince ourselves to stay comfortable within the confines of our four walls, only picking low hanging fruit for sustenance.

We keep ourselves from venturing out into the untamed wilderness, convinced that we wouldn’t enjoy the constant learning, pivoting, moving through new territories.

We subconsciously surround ourselves with people that are just a bit less creative, even less stable, in order to feel like the healthier ones and stay safe in our small constructed boxes. We feed our egos with over sugared dreams and fantasies instead of trudging through the murk and mire of the tedious and meticulous work it takes to really do something significant.

Until we tire of it all.

Until we wake up and realize life is short and days are numbered. Talent and intelligence fade with aging bodies and minds.

As the Ghost of Christmas Present says in A Christmas Carol, “There is never enough time to do or say all the things that we would wish. The thing is to try to do as much as you can in the time that you have. Remember Scrooge, time is short, and suddenly, you’re not there any more.”

Life is difficult.

Anything worth doing is hard.

Dipping a toe in the water will never teach us to swim. All in! It’s time to jump in! ALL IN!

In CS Lewis’s The Last Battle, there’s a chapter titled Further Up and Further In. It is the unicorn that sums up this experience of being in the new more real Narnia.

“I have come home at last! This is my real country! I belong here. This is the land I have been look- ing for all my life, though I never knew it till now. The reason why we loved the old Narnia is that is sometimes looked a little like this. Bree-hee- hee! Come further up, come further in!”

He then shook his mane and sprang forward into a great gal- lop — a Unicorn’s gallop, which, in our world, would have carried him out of sight in a few moments. But now a

most strange thing happened. Everyone else began to run, and they found, to their astonishment, that they could keep up with him: not only the Dogs and the humans but even fat little Puzzle and short-legged Poggin the Dwarf. The air flew in their faces as if they were driving fast in a car without a windscreen. The country flew past as if they were seeing it from the windows of an express train. Faster and faster they raced, but no one got hot or tired or out of breath.

The new one was a deeper country: every rock and flower and blade of grass looked as if it meant more.

I love that last line, “every rock and flower and blade of grass looked as if it meant more.”

I believe it all means more.

More than what we pretend it does. More than what we accept for ourselves. More than half-heartedness or toe-dippings.

All in.

I don’t know what you’ve been lying to yourself about. I’m only beginning to know my own delusions, constructed to protect me from presumed failure and rejection. Lies.

And who is the author of lies? How sad that my very heart has listened and believed such deception. Anytime we hear the voice of condemnation that says “You are just a fraud, you are not of value, you have nothing to offer, you should settle for whatever comes your way”we must push beyond and demand more of ourselves, through blood sweat and tears to the place of our longing, deep within our hearts…

we are meant for more than this….

further up and further in.