Remember Me

I wrote a song about my dad in 1998.

I was mad at him.

He was an eccentric genius who grew up as a PK in the 1940’s and 50’s. He loved Jesus. He was taught men rule the world and women should wear high heels, cook good food, and bear children. When I was 18 I was intelligent, talented, and beautiful, but I weighed 135 pounds and was 5 ft 7 inches. He said I needed to lose 5. He also said I needed to go to college and get a degree in anything, It didn’t matter what I studied because I would marry and both he and my husband would take care of me.

I never felt good enough.

My older sister was Miss Indiana 1980….gorgeous, talented, skinny, beautiful.

She never felt good enough.

Can you imagine being a 12 year old girl at the Miss America pageant, knowing your beautiful older sister who wore a crown felt ugly? What did that make me?

I was the funny one. I tried so hard to lighten everyone up and make the room brighter. I made my room the color of sunshine and I emotionally tap danced my way through life until I hit 30 and decided I deserved a rest. I started therapy and had several heart to hearts over the phone with my dad. I yelled at him. I cried. I told him exactly how I felt about his attitude towards women.

He apologized. He said he was brought up that way and now he realized it was wrong. He was wrong.

You need to understand how monumental this was for my dad to admit he was wrong. He used to quote the Fonzie line from Happy Days, “I was wa wa wa” instead of saying “I was wrong”. But my dad said “I’m sorry, I was wrong. You’re right. Women are just as smart as men and can do anything they want if they work hard. I’m sorry. You are talented and intelligent and can do anything you set your mind to.”

That’s the day I truly loved my dad because I experienced his love for me. He renounced his upbringing, his religion, (not his God as they are different entities) and I loved him so much for meeting me in my pain.

I wrote this song in 1998 when I was angry with him. It’s incredibly ironic that it’s titled Remember Me when he is now dying of Alzheimer’s.

Back in the 90’s he had invested himself in ancient coins, famous signatures, and old fossils and artifacts of ancient civilizations while he had told me I needed a husband to take care of me and I always needed to lose five more pounds. But while he did those things, he also bought my cousins their first cars, he helped my visionary philanthropist Uncle Charlie with his start up not for profit Heart to Honduras that built houses and churches in remote Honduran villages, he taught literally thousands of people how Marriage Can Be Fun and gave people hope. He made kids laugh as they learned about Julius Caesar and Cleopatra, Alexander Hamilton and the duel, and the process of mummification. He was faithful to the love of his life, Lorna June Smith and took our family on amazing adventures around the world. He had a magic zest for life and I’m thankful I got to be in his circle of trust.

This song is a tribute to my Daddy, King Jon, Dr Kardatzke. Eccentric, maddening, manic, hilarious, loving, GENEROUS and CREATIVE spirit who wasn’t afraid to say “I’m sorry I was wrong.” I love you Daddy…and you have left your touch, your imprint on my heart and on my children’s hearts.

Remember Me

The silver coin that bears the face of Ancient Greece

Once used to buy necessities now valued way beyond our needs

We cry Remember Me

An earthen vase crafted by worn and calloused hands

Now brings a price unheard of

for molded clay and sand

We cry Remember Me

Oh please Remember Me

When the human soul is soft as clay

And even a gentle touch leaves an eternal mark

Upon the heart

We make our idols trying to preserve ourselves

Cold images crude replicas collecting dust upon the shelves

We cry Remember Me

Oh please Remember Me

When the human soul is soft as clay and even a gently touch

Leaves an eternal mark upon the heart

In our quest to be remembered

We’ve forgotten who we are

God’s greatest prized creation worth the scars

The scars on His heart

He cries Remember Me oh please Remember Me

Remember me Will you Remember Me

Remember