Small Talk

I’m terrible at it. Because I’m an outgoing extroverted person, people assume I’m relaxed and easy to talk to, but I’m EXTREMELY awkward. For instance, years ago when I was touring regularly I would sometimes attend after-parties. One evening as I was attempting small talk, I started to catch myself saying for at least the third or fourth time to some poor soul that was stuck talking to me, “And, so, but anyway…”. Sheesh.

Another example, meeting my sister in law for the first time when she had only been on MAYBE two dates with my brother, I exclaimed, “Well you’ll fit in just fine with our family!” Thank you Scott for not murdering me in my sleep!

How about this doozy? When I was performing country music with my sister and sister in law as the Karr Sisters (we dropped the datzke and added an r so we weren’t mistaken for flying trapeze artists), we adorned our manager with a floral lei and I blurted out INTO THE MIC, “What do you get a guy that has everything? A lei!” I seriously didn’t realize why everyone was laughing so hard till someone explained it to me.

After I had stopped singing in public for a few years, my social anxiety got much worse. I remember entering my counselor’s office, plopping myself down on his sofa and confidently stating that I finally realized why I was so socially awkward…I was definitely an introvert! I’ll never forget the expression on his face. He looked like an adult who is trying to keep from laughing at something a child has said in earnest. He calmly said, “Well Kim, I can honestly say I’ve never met an introvert like you.”

If I don’t know you very well, my anxiety takes over, my ears turn red, my heart beats rapidly and I usually say something nonsensical, embarrassing, or really really stupid. Ironically I am an extrovert with serious social anxiety. That having been said, next time we meet, if I seem “off” and say something weird or mumble to myself, please know it’s not you…it’s me. Small talk is a BIG deal to me.